Brace yourself, this might be an anti-social media post. I know. Crazy after my last one on engagement, right? Well, let’s just throw caution to the wind, shall we? Let’s boogie.
That’s right. Boogie. Like no one is looking, or even better, like they are.
You see, I recently had two things happen to me that made me sit up and take notice. The first was the response to my post on engagement and the more than two weeks since that I have not posted. The other sit up and take notice event was my trip to the Outlaw Roadshow – an outdoor concert featuring the Counting Crows and a host of other unfamiliar groups of rail thin young men in white t-shirts, skinny jeans and dirty hair. I digress.
The Irony of the Engagement Post
That post on engagement was surprisingly strong as far as traffic goes, and the comments were flowing right in. Part of my irony? I almost didn’t publish it – I thought it had all been said before! As you know by now, I did publish it and much to my surprise, it was well received.
The problem was that I suddenly got so slammed with work, on top of my already busy workload, that I couldn’t get back to chat like I wanted to, or more importantly, as one would who had just written a post on ENGAGEMENT. To add insult to injury, it’s been a full two weeks or more since I have had the opportunity to write another. It’s not for lack of content, nor a lack of desire. Even the comedy club type heckling that my friend Jayme Soulati served up in the comments section didn’t get me to write.
The reason? I was in the midst of a big boogie. No, not that kind. The kind where you’re going so fast and so hard, you forget that you need to eat lunch, go potty, or take care of the cat. And you know what?
It’s ok. When it comes to business, the demands of running it and making it a success take center stage. The blog, while a joy for me and a definite lead generation and brand building tool, does not. Truth. When the work is flowing, I better boogie or I’m in trouble. And boogie I have. Two new accounts were landed, with two more on the way (not that I EVER count an account until the ink dries…bad mojo).
The Outlaw Boogie
I have a serious affliction. I over-schedule my life to the point that what should be fun, can seem like a chore. It always looks great on paper, but then when it comes to the activity hitting the proverbial road, a traffic jam can and does occur. In the case of the Outlaw Roadshow and my second a-ha moment of late, I had won tickets to a concert (I’m lucky that way) and on the calendar it went. If you recall, work has been crazy, but hey, it fit on the calendar and didn’t bump right into another appointment, so we were good.
As we dragged our over forty tails down the road to the venue, I found myself talking up the event, reminding my husband and myself, that “we’re still young, we still got it and you only live once!” The closer we got to the amphitheater, the fewer bars were left on my phone. Not having brought my charger, I decided to throw caution to the wind and leave the phone in the car. Let that sink in. The Outlaw Roadshow would not be live-tweeted, status-updated, or photo-opp’d. It would be…attended.
Remember when we used to to do that? I do. We went to a concert. We listened. We boogied. We people watched. We told our friends about it later.
No phone? No problem. I decided right then that I would be in the moment, soak it up and take it in. What I didn’t count on was the social MEdia case study I was about to witness.
A Social MEdia Situation
Ok, before I get all high and mighty, I’ll fess up that I am fully addicted to my smartphone, check emails with unheard of frequency, and love to share the moments of my life and my business. However, what I feel like is my saving grace is the ability to see that weakness in myself and work towards balancing it out.
The concert was a perfect opportunity to witness a growing trend in what appears to be a self-absorbed State of the Union. Here’s what I noticed:
- Faces were trained downward, focusing at little tiny screens, rather than at their dates, friends or my goodness, the people on stage.
- Fish face poses were rampant. You know the one: arm held out in front, smartphone poised and ready, head tilt, heads touching, lips scrunched. Click. Save. Then painstakingly examine. If it’s not up to snuff. Shoot it all over again. As the one sitting behind you while you do it…shoot me, please.
- There’s an apparent need to take numerous posed photos in order to get just the right one. We have an image to uphold.
- We are unable to go to the bathroom, stand in line and chat with those around us. We must whip out the phone, check status, text or tweet about standing in line to use the bathroom.
- If we are not careful, we can become more concerned with our place in the social, VIRTUAL world around us than the one in which we inhabit. We will begin to make decisions based on that standing and place, rather than what is good for us, our business, or our relationships.
- Don’t throw either one out with the bathwater. The blogosphere, social media and our online relationships are invaluable and worth feeding and growing. For those of us whose business is akin to a brick and mortar, our time online can indeed feed the success of that business. However, it should not take the place of the business or the work that we must do to stay in business.
I’m so glad I didn’t bring my phone. I danced. I laughed. I watched with delight the world around me. I even talked to strangers. (My husband considers that a strange affliction as well, but that’s another story).
The lesson for me? Sometimes, whether it’s work, fun, or life in general, you really do need to put down the phone, step away from the screen, refrain from the pressure to put something out into the world so that we can maintain a status within it, and just boogie.
Image via Flickr.
OK, shucks. I can't see a search function to look for that old post you wrote about Triberr? Darn.
Latest blog post: Do Blog Comments Inspire Blog Posts?
Oh, hi!!! Just coming by to find a link for my today post and thought I'd see what's new...well, I guess the cobwebs are settling in for the dog days of summer. OK, bye!
Latest blog post: Do Blog Comments Inspire Blog Posts?
I turned off the ringer and notification noises on my phone and noticed an immediate impact upon my ability to relax. I don't check it constantly anymore and I find that I am more like the guy I used to be in the pre-cellphone days.
Unless there is something critical I leave the volume off and only check when I notice the greenlight flashing. Makes for a much nicer Jack.
@TheJackB My dad gave me such a hard time last week while at the beach. Apparently, I check my phone often. Yuk. I never wanted to be that person. I guess at least I'm aware of it, right? Turning the ringer off hasn't curbed the need to check. I've had to mentally unplug and realize that I can determine what's critical and what's not, rather than letting FB notifications, or the light, or the hum of the phone do that for me. Can't tell you how good it is to see you here, Jack! Thank you.
@EricaAllison I probably come by more than you realize. I might not always leave a comment, but I try to poke my head in on a regular basis just to see what is going on.
OMG!!! I love this!!! I have been thinking about doing our next Disney trip without looking at my phone!!! If only I could get the hubby to do that...that would take a miracle or some strange satellite disruption to all things Apple! LOL! Good for you though, glad you enjoyed your self fish faces & all! Oh how we tease our teenager about fish lips...why do they think that is cool???
@sydcon_mktg Hi, Jenn! So good to see you here. I was at the beach last week and didn't do a lot on the blog- my apologies for the delayed response. It is so good to take a social break every so often. It makes us realize how to connect with the folks around us. Good luck on the Disney trip, although I'll bet there will be lots to update us on along the way. :)
I have to say, as someone who gets on stage multiple times a week (not a rock star, but I'd venture to guess it's the same), it's very disconcerting to see faces plugged into their phones and tablets. I always feel a little bit better after I see the tweets, once I'm finished, but it's definitely something you have to contend with and it makes you feel a little off-kilter.
On the personal side of things, my New Year's resolution was to stop over-scheduling. It started with no work on the weekends (turns out I still get everything done without it). Then Patti began protecting one day a week, after I get back from a trip. And I began riding at lunchtime instead of feeling like I had to do it while the rest of the world was still asleep. I'm more productive, more efficient, and HAPPIER. I haven't been this happy ever...I don't think. And it shows in how the business is growing and in my relationships. I highly recommend it.
So good to see you here, lady! I love it that you're so happy and can attest that it comes from taking control of your schedule and your life. Nothing compares to that feeling, just like nothing can come close when it all hits the fan. Too much of the latter and I burn out like a cheap firecracker on the 4th of July. ;) Hugs! @ginidietrich
Boogie on. Stop over-scheduling. Give up the addictions. Step away from the screen regularly to breathe deeply, smile fully, dance and savour the moment. Cheers! Kaarina
@KDillabough Indeed! My only drawback? I miss 'seeing' my important peeps like you! I know and rely on the fact that you all get it and understand. I'm working on focusing on what matters most and finding ways to integrate my relationships back into the mix!
Miss you!
@EricaAllison No sweat. Do and be what is best for you. Some won't understand. Others will. Stick with the latter crowd:)
So many great thoughts here....where to start?!
First, like you, running a business and keeping up the blog is a tricky balance. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I've been running hard and fast, but, because my blog is such a great business tool for me, I don't want to let it fizzle. I don't want to look up one day and wonder where all the business went because I didn't keep my blog fed. That, and I feel like a hypocrite if I tell my clients to blog at least once a week and I don't. Much like @Shonali said, I need to figure out how set a realistic blog schedule that I can keep up with and not feel guilty about when I'm not working. Again, a tough balance.
Second, I think your point about being offline and present in the moment is an important one. I think we have become so reliant on our phones that we miss the important and special moments. My husband gets totally irritated when I focus on my phone instead of him. When we go to dinner, I leave my phone alone. Maybe I need to leave it in the car! I need to do more of this.
When I was home visiting my family last month, I was at lunch with my mom, sister and niece. We were appalled when we watched two teenage girls with their who we assumed was their grandmother. She sat there and stared at them while they played with their phones the entire meal. It's sad really.
Ok, I've gone on long enough! Thanks for sharing this great story and for getting me thinking this morning!
@lauraclick I have given up on adhering to a set schedule with my blog. I blog once weekly, for the most part, but when it's just not possible, I don't beat myself up over it, nor do I worry that I will lose business as a result. I think if anything, it shows our clients, that we understand how life and business can get in the way of self imposed schedules. It's not a perfect solution, but from what I can tell, it's working for me. @Shonali
It's that second point about being in the moment, that I was most trying to make with this post! Sometimes, it is best to leave the phone in the car, to focus on the real people with us (that grandmother should have snatched the phones!), and be in the present moment. I love social more than anyone, really, really do! But, I can also see how it can suck us into a world that distracts us from the real stuff around us. There's no perfect balance or solution. For me, it's recognizing the pitfalls, the positives and finding a middle ground that works for me.
Great thoughts, Laura!
Reminds me of when we went to see Ronnie Wood in Atlantic City (my first visit there!) and I experienced much the same!
I guess for me, Erica, especially in the current phase of my life, what I'm trying to figure out is... to a large extent being online, socializing online, etc., is what brought me business and why I was hired to do my current gig. I absolutely agree that when you have to "boogie," that is top priority (and you've seen that about me too). But figuring out how to do both, and have a "life" is what is tough for me. By "life," I mean times when I'm not online, when I'm cooking, just hanging with my husband, and not worrying about all the blog posts I have to write/edit, Triberr I have to check, etc. I know many others go through the same situation, and I suppose some have figured out how to do it. I'm not one of those, yet. Any tips on that front?
@Shonali yes! Being online is what has brought me fantastic contacts and business (ahem, @Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing can attest to that), but I also get a healthy chunk of business from folks who know me from the work I do and the people in my life who recommend me. If I forget that aspect, the online really won't pay the bills. It's the long tail of the sales cycle...the part that seals the deal for many a new prospect. But the work I do (both online and off) is what pays the bills. That's the kicker, I'm online ALL the time, but not always for me. I'm working on client accounts.
Re: the balance of life and figuring out how to do it all? My only tip is to let some items go and feed what feeds you. I also think there are cycles to it all and there is no finite balance that stays in place and makes us feel better. As @KDillabough will be the first to tell us, there's an ebb and a flow. It's being flexible with ourselves and others that will make those times truly flow.
For high-achievers like most of the fine folks commenting on this post...that's a TALL order!
So glad to see you, Shonali! I trust the new gig is going well?
This is a good reflection on keeping the balance between the digital life and one's ongoing real life. You have to keep a good perspective on the important things that are going on in the real world around you even as you blog.
@richescorner Absolutely right! It's when I lose focus and perspective (my own) and substitute it for someone else's that I get in big trouble! Great to see you again!
Erica, this one really spoke to me because (a) Scott wants me to actually engage with him while we watch TV together, instead of tweet about it. He made me put my phone down during the NBA Championships, or else I had to watch them alone. Can you imagine? Sheesh!! And (b) I'd like the teens I hang out with on Wednesday nights to engage with me and with one another during discussions instead of staring down at their laps and texting their friends. One of my ex-youth leaders made them drop their phones in a basket when they came in, but then some of them just started lying about having phones. Long "where is she?" trips to the bathroom soared. I could get hard-core and tell them they're not allowed to go to the bathroom anymore, but who'd want to go to a youth group like that? We've talked the matter to death, but I give up. The teens who are addicted to their phones are missing out, and that's their problem -- not mine! But great lessons here, for sure.
@New England Multimedia I think dropping phones in a basket is not a bad idea! I know a restaurant owner who does that with her wait staff. In situations like that, they really shouldn't be on texting or tweeting. In your case however, you might channel @ginidietrich and let 'em keep the phones and work with it.
Have a race to see who can find a quote first or look up the number of times "x" has been mentioned on Twitter. Shoot a video and put it on YouTube. Make their addiction to the phone, or their need for instant updates and gratification, the strength you play to and not the affliction to be ignored. Bring that elephant into the middle of the room and dress it up in a tutu!
Ironically commenting from my droid at the gym. Which you might say see less social. Opposite for me. I come to work out not socialize but i tweet and work now at the gym. One comment about the concert and warning to brands and gurus and social media wonks. Social.media is a revolution in interpersonal communication technology. Note marketi.g and brands are absent from that statement. How many of the people you saw using mobile were communicating with friends? Or the brands they love? I bet 100% with friends. Now back to my workout 8)
@HowieSPM Curious how you're working out while tweeting and commenting! What do you do at the gym, Howie?
@New England Multimedia LOL I exercise with weights, weight machines and run a treadmill. In between sets I will tweet. And the only work is actually running one client's twitter feed.
But as @EricaAllison knows I also take pics and tweet when I go running in Albany, NY and Mad River Valley Vermont. More to tease those concrete jungle folks what open land and rain forest looks like...or desolate snowy wastes in winter time 8)
@HowieSPM Thanks for the workout comment, Howie! Yes, you're right, there's an interpersonal communication 'revolution' as you point out. My concern is when we're with actual people and still tweeting and posting. I think it's perfectly logical for you to go to the gym and tweet or work. I would too. I don't go to socialize. I run and socialize on my runs, but the gym? Not so much.
The folks at the concert were likely not using mobile to talk about brands, except for maybe a classic Adam move or two. They were likely chatting with friends. I get that. I just wonder how much of the life around them they missed in doing that.
Hope it was a good workout!
I honestly believe this blog post is an "in your face" to non other than moi. So what, Jayme? I'm raking in the dough...who cares if you miss me and all our nonsensical prattle...I'm flying high on the boogie board.
K. Not really.
Here's how I really took it -- congratulations! But, that ain't gonna stop the comedy club from trying to keep you engaged more than 1/month. Know why? Cuz, we love you...well, I do anyway.
Now git back to work and count your crows.
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing There's some blogger heckling going on for sure, but it's not for you, my sweet. It's a bigger observation than that and one that I always struggle with. How much time do I spend on this thing vs. my business vs. family, etc. On and on.
Love you, too. Muah!!